A Word About Asking for "Slave Training"
When people contact me about wanting a session with me, I ask them what kinds of fantasies they wish to explore, what their interests are.
Sometimes this person will reply "Slave training". And I ask them:
"What does that mean to you, what do you think that means?"
Because it may be that in your state of inexperience, you are using terms you don't fully understand. If you write to me and say you want to be trained as a slave, that means something quite different than asking about - for example - fantasy dominance and submission sessions. Most of the time, my clients come to me with specific types of fantasies they wish to explore, such as bondage, different types of corporal punishment, mild to severe masochism sessions, golden showers, foot fetish/worship, medical fantasy scenes... These are all things I do, in various combinations. People frequently feel sexually excited by these things, and that's fine. But asking for those things, and having me do them to you, is not slave training.
If someone says "I want you to train me as a slave" - it means something very different. What that means is: I want you to train me to serve you as you wish. My wishes and fantasies will not be consulted, since slaves have no such power. If the Mistress wishes to punish a slave for failing in some task, she will do so. No effort is made for the slave to find erotic satisfaction, in fact he may be explicitly forbidden to do so. He will be assigned various duties during his visits to the Mistress, for example, he may be stripped and made to scrub a floor - with a toothbrush - while the Mistress looks on, talks on the phone, reads a magazine, et cetera. She may or may not strike his bare behind with a riding crop while he scrubs. When he finishes, he may be ordered to kiss and lick the Mistress's feet for a time as a reward. Then he will leave. That is an example of true slave training - the Mistress's wishes are everything - the wishes and desires of the slave count for nothing.
Needless to say, few people are truly cut out for this. It is a pure form of submission that, properly channeled, is an art form, a spiritual expression of the self, and I hold it in the highest esteem. So much so that I refuse to call something "slave training" when it very much is Not!
There is nothing wrong with having fantasies of certain kinds of erotic submission and wanting to explore them specifically. But in BDSM, its important to be clear about what you want and what you are willing to give.
To further clarify your ideas about erotic/fantasy submission versus being a slave, read on.
Types of Submission
By Diane Vera and published in The Lesbian S/M Safety Manual, edited by Pat Califia, from Lace/Alyson Press, Boston, 1988, reissued 1990 (still in print).
Within the S/M subculture, different people use the words "submissive and slave" to mean many different things. When submissives say "I want to be your slave," sometimes they mean only that they want to be tied up and whipped. Many professional dominants routinely refer to their (usually not very genuinely submissive clients) as "slaves." At the other extreme, there are people who want to be full-time personal servants, and who truly want to exist solely for their Dom(me)'s use, pleasure and convenience. And there are many shades in between these two extremes.
1. THE OUTRIGHT NON-SUBMISSIVE MASOCHIST or KINKY SENSUALIST.
2. PSEUDO-SUBMISSIVE NON-SLAVE.
3. PSEUDO-SUBMISSIVE PLAY SLAVE.
4. TRUE SUBMISSIVE NON-SLAVE.
5. TRUE SUBMISSIVE PLAY SLAVE.
6. UNCOMMITTED SHORT-TERM BUT MORE THAN PLAY SEMI-SLAVE.
7. PART-TIME CONSENSUAL-BUT REAL SLAVE.
8. FULL-TIME LIVE IN CONSENSUAL SLAVE.
9. CONSENSUAL TOTAL SLAVE WITH NO LIMITS.
Copyright 1984 and 1988, Diane Vera